Journal  – random thoughts.

Today I have been mostly obsessed with the issues with the Left of British Politics.

Although I have no idea why.

The left or the right don’t really care about me and me spending my time trying to change that, or even thinking about it does not change a single thing.

Reminds me of the Alcoholics Prayer – God grant me the serenity…

I can’t change any of it, so why give it time? I too struggle with the same headgame as you at least in part.

And this post is about that and  it’s about me and you, the same fears, the same unknowns.

My own issues of work and meaning.

I have no idea how that helps me at this moment but I sure hope they do.

Part of my work involves dealing with people in crisis. Crisis in business, with money and with relationships. Sure, I can usually help solve this kind of problem.

Do you want a coach?

Are you coachable, many people are not.

Life And Dis-satisfaction

The pang of dis-satisfaction does not run that deep. It  bobs along the surface and every now and again it hits rocks and appears, like a salmon leaping out of a waterfall. I  don’t see them often but when I do, they are spectacular.

You can’t fail to notice it when it arrives in your life. .

It is a distraction. It is something that I can’t ignore. But it does not bring any solutions, does not offer any  guidance. I just know that if I wait long enough then it will appear.

Just when I don’t want it to. And that is the problem…

It does not stay for long enough to force me into making better decisions – it just pops up, pokes fun and disappears back to just under the surface – bubbles under just out sight – waiting for the next bout of anxiety that my ego decides to serve up.

Because that is where anxiety comes from, that inner arse, that voice – the one that will just not shut up.

What now? Where do I go from here? Where does it go from here? What should I do next?

Yesterday was spent putting together the content for my next push into local business marketing. Yet if I am honest it is something that really doesn’t excite me much. There is a clear need for business owners to understand most of that.

Yet for some reason, because I am not excited enough about it – I can’t get enough traction from it. Can’t get enough people to come and work with me – because I don’t really believe it myself and that is no doubt the truth of the matter.

But, this is something I am good at. It is something I have been doing for many years, yet that inner voice tells me I shouldn’t, it makes me question my own ability -now you see that your fears and worries are shared by everyone else. We are all making it up as we go along.

I don’t believe in my own skills enough to convince others, yet here I am again, writing stuff down.

Hoping it will be cathartic enough that I find the breakthrough, the insight I need to be able to move in a direction. To see the panacea, to see what it looks like.

To see what the future looks like. As though this is likely to make a difference.

Evidence is. This journaling process does make a difference.

It’s been done by many people over a long period of time. And it has worked for them. All successful people have used this tool to make a difference. To get the breakthrough.

Guess it just makes for further evidence – I AM SHIT.

Whoa.

Nothing More To Say

I have just sat for a minute or so with my eyes closed. Waiting for a thought to appear. A breakthrough.

And so far nothing has come, nothing has arrived to save me. The cursor just blinks like some crazed axe murderer – waiting to leap out of the screen at me.

I know it won’t kill me – these things rarely do. It is interesting to watch – and to see my mind’s reaction to it. The cursor becomes an axe murderer.

Weather has turned today – just in time for the August Bank Holiday weekend. It is how it is..

The voice in my head has just told me to stop writing about what is going on in there and to focus on something I have no control over, that won’t bring me the change I need.

Interesting, the inner dickhead thinks that it has won again. I won’t. I won’t let it this time.

Which brings me to here. Still unfocused. Still not sure. Still stuck.

My first coffee of the morning is not pushing these ideas.

Funny how I can sometimes sit down at this and the words come easily. I get in flow. I feel like something special is happening and other times it’s a struggle to get any traction – to find anything to say.

Today is one of those days when it just becomes hard to come up with the barest minimum.

If you need some guidance with your business or just need a kick in your backside to move you forward, perhaps you are just stuck.

Get in touch – Small Business Arse Kicker

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